Toys Are For Children (And Superheroes)
by ElusiveMuse89
Summary: Cute, snuggly stuffed animals mysteriously appear whenever the Avengers need them most.


Clint got his first one a week after his first mission with Phil. It was a dark chocolate color with soft fur and little black eyes and so _huggable_. Clint's favorite bit was the little plastic bow sewed to one of its paws and the cloth quiver (empty, of course) attached to its back with an elastic strap.

Clint bit his lip torn between the one part of him saying, _I'm not a kid!_ And the much larger part saying, _but I love it!_ It wasn't until he went to bed later that night snuggling his new teddy bear that he wondered who it was from and how they had managed to sneak past all the booby traps in his room to give it to him.

It was a meaningless gift, childish, but it was the first gift in a long time that anyone had actually given Clint without a bomb or something equally dangerous attached (and yes, Clint checked that thing over from head to toe, he wasn't stupid). If anyone had asked, Clint would forever deny keeping the bear, just like he would forever deny spending an entire day making tiny arrows to fill the little quiver with.

Clint's second one was a stuffed dog, and it appeared the day Fury had yelled at Clint for risking an entire op by choosing not to kill the Black Widow. It was a golden retriever that looked so much like the dog Clint had lost a long time ago that Clint instantly named it Lucky. It made up for his crappy day, not that he would ever admit it, and he got a box big enough to fit both Lucky and Hawk-Bear in so that no one knew the infamous Hawkeye still kept stuffed animals.

Natasha's first was a tiny tiger about four inches tall with a plastic knife attached to each of its front paws. She found it after she and Clint and Phil celebrated Strike Team Delta's first mission as a team. _Toys are for children_, she thought as she instantly moved to throw it away. But something stayed her hand. She couldn't remember ever receiving toys as a child. She examined the tiger for bugs or explosives, confused when she found none. The tiger soon joined the knife she slept with under her pillow.

After the disaster that was Budapest, Clint received his third and Natasha received her second. They were both white rabbits, except that Clint's was wearing a miniature Hawkeye outfit, and Natasha's was dressed in a miniature version of her first SHIELD-issue catsuit that she'd been allowed to design herself. Being stuffed rabbits, there was no muscle definition or sexy curves to complement the outfits, but it was the thought that counted.

Natasha and Clint compared bunnies, neither willing to admit that this wasn't their first, but they each realized that the giver had to be someone with a connection to them both. That list of someones was very short. No one on that list seemed like the stuffed animal-giving sort of person. Then again, Nick Fury didn't seem like the knitting sort of person, and Maria Hill didn't seem like a baking sort of person, but both of them would kill anyone who called them on it.

Tony Stark's first was a life-sized koala bear. It had mysteriously appeared after the Obadiah Stane disaster and Tony had puzzled over it, because he had never received anything quite like it. It had no bells and whistles attached to it, it didn't do anything special, there were no buttons to make it talk or dance or anything fancy, and there was no "Marry me, Tony Stark!" note attached to it. In fact, there was no note at all, and JARVIS had no light to shed on the matter, either. In the end, Tony shrugged, admitted it was kinda cute, and proceeded to use it as a pillow. It was a very comfortable pillow, too.

Tony's second one was smaller, a fox this time. He discovered it after his first encounter with Vanko. The third one, a fuzzy penguin, appeared after that disastrous Stark Expo. Both ended up on a bedside table in Tony's room. He was an eccentric billionaire. He could do stuff like that. Pepper raised an eyebrow at his strange bedroom décor but made no comment.

Steve's first was a fat orange cat. He found it on the bed of the apartment Fury led him to after he woke up from the ice. Steve found it strange and out-of-place in an apartment clearly designed for an adult, but he kept quiet, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. He found himself carrying it with him throughout the apartment, running his fingers through the fake fur when some new gadget confused him. And no, the stuffed cat was definitely not the reason he started watching cat videos on the internet to take his mind off things.

The Battle of New York was tough on everyone. Clint was mind-controlled, Bruce Hulked out twice, Tony almost died, Steve was stressing over information over-load, Natasha almost lost her partner to a psychotic god of chaos, and Thor was forced to admit his brother was a changed man. Add Phil's death to the mix, and it was a wonder they were still in one piece.

A month later, Bruce and Thor each received their first mystery gifts- Thor's was a moose, and Bruce's was a white owl. Steve received his second, a winged monkey which made him smile. Natasha received her third, a very-furry terrier. Clint and Tony got their fourth- Clint's was a dolphin and Tony's was a wolf.

Most of them were content with admiring their gifts quietly and in privacy, but Thor was ecstatic and showed off his "mighty" moose to anyone who would stay still long enough. More to shut him up than anything, Tony dragged out his mystery animals, and a baffled Bruce showed them his owl. Steve produced the cat and the monkey he was so proud of by now. Clint showed them his brood of animals, and after a lot of prompting (pleading, really) Natasha reluctantly revealed hers. They each marveled at the fact that this huge collection of animals was anonymously given, and then Tony announced that it had to be connected. After all, how could it be a coincidence that each of the Avengers had received these anonymous gifts, and some of them more than once? Unfortunately, any discussion to shed possible light on the matter all led to dead ends.

A week later, Fury revealed that Phil Coulson was alive after all and almost fully recovered due to some miracle medicine SHIELD had come up with.

Thor's second mystery animal was a mystery to him. It happened after the whole Dark World ordeal, and after watching Thor puzzle over it, Bruce took pity on him and informed him it was a giraffe. This resulted in Tony taking them all to the zoo to see an actual giraffe. After Clint got into a shouting match at the monkeys, and Natasha sneaked into the tigers' enclosure and Tony actually attempted to buy one of the penguins, the Avengers were banned from the zoo. Still, it wasn't completely in vain, because Thor could now regale his Aesir friends with tales of the Noble Giraffe.

After the Mandarin fiasco, Tony received the oddest stuffed creature that he could not identify for the life of him. JARVIS identified it as a platypus. Within the hour, all the Avengers could call themselves experts on the platypus, relying on the internet since the zoo was not an option. Coulson flatly refused to sanction a trip to Australia for a hands-on experience.

Then came the day General Ross marched an army to the foot of Avengers Tower, demanding that 'the monster' be released into his custody. He got as far as blasting a hole through the entrance door before the other Avengers showed up (Steve stayed back to keep Bruce calm and also to keep Bruce from going all martyr and turning himself over) and put an end to that. It didn't seem to do any good, but when Ross turned to storm off in anger, he came face-to-face with Agent Coulson. No one except Ross heard the quiet words Coulson spoke to him. The same bland smile remained on Coulson's face the entire time, but Ross's face visibly paled and he never bothered the Avengers again.

That evening, Bruce couldn't help but smile at the stuffed lion that appeared in his lab.

Then came the day New York was attacked by giant robotic spiders. The Avengers were fighting them for hours. Everyone was exhausted, even Coulson sounded cranky on the comms. Eventually, SHIELD managed to produce some EMP that didn't shut down the spiders completely, but did enough damage to allow the Avengers to finish the job for good.

There was one problem: the Hulk didn't appear to want to leave and transform back into Bruce.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong?" Stark hovered just high enough to be eye level with the Hulk.

"NOT FAIR!" Hulk bellowed.

"What's not fair?" asked Tony.

Steve arrived at the scene seconds before Thor landed. Natasha and Clint arrived, breaking off their conversation to access the situation.

"HULK WANT HUG TOY!"

"I can totally make you a hug toy if you tell me what it is," Tony promised.

The Hulk literally stomped his foot, creating a crater in the middle of the street. "NO! HULK WANT HUG TOY FROM MYSTERY MAN!"

Tony was rendered speechless. Sure, he was willing to give the Hulk whatever he needed to calm down, but he was not cool with making empty promises.

"Friend Hulk, we will find this mysterious giver of animals and ask him for a gift for you!" Thor promised.

"HUG TOY FOR HULK?"

"Captain Rogers, see if you can guide Hulk to the Tower," Coulson said into the comms.

"Excuse me, Agent, we're having an important discussion here," Tony griped.

"That's nice, but your important discussion is tearing up the street. Get him to the Tower immediately!"

"Fine, but if you have the Tower surrounded by containment units specifically designed for our friendly green giant, the Avengers will _not_ stop him from tearing you apart. We might even join him," Tony snapped. He turned off the comm and turned to the Hulk. "Hey, buddy, why don't we talk about this at home?"

The Avengers fanned out around Hulk, cautiously prepared in case SHIELD did attempt to bring the Hulk down. They were not at all prepared for the six-foot-tall panda sitting against the main entrance to the Tower.

A smile lit up the Hulk's face and he immediately picked up the panda and gave it a Hulk-sized hug. The Avengers stood staring at the odd sight; Natasha whipped out her phone and snapped a quick picture. Moments later, the Hulk started shrinking down, his skin turning paler. Bruce collapsed under the unexpected weight of an over-sized panda.

Bruce blinked in confusion, shoved the animal aside once he realized it was just a stuffed animal and looked questioningly up at the Avengers. "Do I even want to know?" he asked.

"Mystery person strikes again," Clint shrugged. "Anything?" he asked Natasha, who had just finished questioning nearby bystanders. She shook her head but a glint was in her eyes.

"Someone knows us well enough to know where to put our –gifts- so the right person will find it," she said.

"We already knew that, Spidey," said Tony, rolling his eyes.

"Someone is somehow able to get past our security in order to place these gifts," Natasha continued.

"Yes. And?" Clint shrugged.

"Please tell me it's safe to send the clean-up crew in," Coulson said into their comms.

"Coast is clear," Natasha responded.

Tony's eyes widened comically. "No," he said.

"Yes," Natasha countered.

"Prove it!" Tony challenged.

"If Tasha says so, it's true," Clint said defensively.

"It won't be difficult to prove," said Natasha. "Just do as I say."

Agent Coulson slammed a stack of paperwork on the kitchen counter. "Is there any particular reason last week's mission reports haven't even been touched?"

"It was the only way to get you up here," said Clint.

"You couldn't simply ask me to come visit?" Coulson said drily.

"We wanted to show you something!" Tony said brightly.

Coulson hesitated. An excited Tony rarely meant it was safe. "Is it work-related?" he said cautiously.

"We wish to show you the Room of Cuddles!" Thor chimed in.

Coulson shook his head. He was sure he didn't want to know, but Clint grabbed him by the arm and tugged him down the hall. Judging by the clatter of footsteps behind them, the rest of the team was following close behind.

Clint stopped in front of a door. "Ta-da!" he said dramatically, flinging the door open.

Coulson stepped inside, followed by the Avengers, who were staring at him expectantly. At first glance, it appeared to be an empty room. "What am I supposed to be looking at here?" he asked.

"Look closely," Natasha said with a smirk.

Coulson sighed and scanned the room again, this time taking in the large array of stuffed animals lined up against the wall. Vaguely familiar stuffed animals, in fact. The giant panda in particular he recognized immediately, as it was a reminder of last week's incident. After that he realized exactly why the stuffed toys were so familiar. Heat rose to his cheeks, and he fought to get himself back under control.

"What is this?" he said quietly.

"We were hoping you could tell us," Bruce said hesitantly.

"Why would you _keep_ them?" Phil groaned. "None of you were supposed to _keep_ them!"

"So it _was_ you!" Tony said triumphantly. "I knew it! Actually it was Spidey who figured it out, but who cares about details?"

Phil scowled. "They were only meant to make you smile or roll your eyes and not give it a second thought," he mumbled. "If I'd known you'd keep them, I wouldn't have bothered getting you more."

Clint grinned widely before suddenly wrapping his arms around Phil and squeezing tight. Even as Phil protested, Clint pulled Natasha in as well. Steve smiled and gestured for the others to join in.

"This is unprofessional," came a muffled voice from somewhere in the middle of the impromptu group hug.

"Hush," Steve chided gently. "We're bonding."


End file.
